Messy is Ok

I imagine my life is not the only one that feels messy more than it feels neat, orderly and in control. 

By messy I am referring to the physical and the circumstantial. For example, my house. It is WAY more often messy than it is clean. Here are a few pictures from today:

This is really pretty clean for the house, but you know what I mean. There is always, always STUFF all over the place. Random stuff. Dumbells, diapers, a toothbrush, a bracelet, pieces of toilet paper, empty bottles (baby bottles, that is...don't get the wrong idea here!), toys, scarves, miscellaneous shoes, cups, socks without a partner...stuff. 

A friend of mine (Here's to you Ellen!) joked the other day that she felt like a perfectionist, but not an ordinary perfectionist, a perfectionist in her mind! You know, you want things to be perfect but are so overwhelmed by the task that you don't actually make them perfect and so you live in chaos, but frustrated about it, because you want it to be perfect. Do you ever feel that way? I do all the time. 

I am a type A person in my head. The type that wants my surroundings to be neat and orderly in order for me to feel peaceful. The type of person that likes plans, and to know what is coming next. I make my husband crazy planning our days minute by minute sometimes...poor guy. The thing is, especially with little kids, and because neither my husband nor I are super disciplined people, that things are not always so neat and orderly and planned...and therefore I find myself feeling frustrated by that a lot of the time. How silly is that?! 

Having kids has been a real lesson in patience in this area of my life. In learning to LET GO! 

I was reminded of this when I started painting with Ava earlier today. 

I looked at the table at one point and wanted to start cleaning everything up, putting everything in order, wiping her hands incessantly, but instead I stepped back and said, "Lisa, let it go. Let her paint. Let her smoosh her hands in it and get it ALL over the paper. It's part of the process." 

Deep breath. Ok. Let go. 

And so I did and it was fun. 

 I'm trying to do that more with life. Deep breath. Ok. Let go.


After all, I figure, if things are going to be messy more often than they are clean, why would I want to be crabby more often than I'm happy? 


Boy, sometimes I think I'm finally growing up. 


But then someone pulls all of my maxi pads out of a box and leaves them scattered around the bathroom floor and I sigh and huff and puff, and realize I have a LONG way to go...