Mommy Moritification

I've been reading hilariously crafted stories of things other mommies did "not" do, but really did, for several months now through a link on one of my favorite mommy blogs It Feels Like Chaos. Allison regularly posts her own "Not Me Monday's" through a blog carnival sponsored by MckMama, another great mommy blog!

Until now I've been happy to just read other moms embarrassing and funny "not me" moments.

Until yesterday that is.

A day when I totally missed the boat in the mommy department and did something that I'm not sure I really want to admit too...so I'm only sort of admitting to it by saying it wasn't really me who would do something like this!

Let's start out with this picture. If you were going to take this little girl to church on a given Sunday morning what item of clothing would you say she might still need before she should get into the car to be driven to church and dropped off in a Sunday school class?

Hmmm...something like...SHOES! 

Let's do this the "not me" way...

I was not in such a hurry to get out the door for church yesterday that I would allow my 3 year old to walk out to the car barefoot to expedite the process. I certainly did not tell my husband that I would grab her shoes...and most certainly did not start painstakingly searching the car for them when, about two minutes away from church he said, "Lis, did grab Ava's shoes?" 

I did not say "They have to be here. I KNOW I grabbed them...and feel an increasingly sinking feeling in my stomach." 

I most certainly DID NOT leave my daughter's shoes on the kitchen counter. 

We did not have to borrow size 10 shoes for my size 7 daughter from friends of ours who pulled up next to us in the church parking lot. 

I did not make my daughter clomp around in too big shoes at Sunday school all morning. 

AND! after we picked her up from Sunday school and she was sitting in one of these funny little spaceship looking bubble chairs with a cover that goes up and down, and I knocked on the top to say, "Ava, where are you?" 

I DID NOT look down to find her all crunched up with her dressed squished up above her waist and stare at my husband in disbelief and horror to say, "Scott! Where are her underwear!?" 

Of course it was Scott's question to answer because I would NEVER do something that required an answer to such a question.

He did NOT look at me and say, "Lis, you dressed her." 

I ABSOLUTELY, MOST POSITIVELY am NOT the one that would have, in a rush, thrown a dress to my daughter to put on but forget to tell her she needed to put underwear on as well. 

I would NEVER send my daughter to church without shoes and underwear. NEVER. 

And I certainly would never be left to think, all the way home from church, "Oh my goodness gracious what in the WORLD must the childcare workers been thinking?!" 

Because I would never do anything that would require me to ask that of myself. 

Ahhh. I feel better. What a good mommy I am for NOT being so silly to do all the above things.