Permission to Sit

     When I was in grad school, working as a part of a team of teaching assistants in a large Communications 101 class with several hundred Freshman,  I vividly recall our coordinating supervisor saying something that has always stayed with me. She is a smart woman, and had many years of shepherding TA's under her belt-- TA's that were often timid, unsure and overwhelmed, especially in the beginning of the year, by the task that they had taken on.

    In one of our early training sessions she stood at the front of the classroom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, fake it till you make it."

     I'll be honest, that was empowering at the time. I was young (in my early 20's) and was feeling a bit unsure myself. I thought, Hmmmm...I may not have all the answers, but if I can at least look like I do then the students will develop a certain level of respect for me. I can pretend that I am confident and experienced and totally know what I am doing and they will hopefully believe that that is the reality...at least until it become the reality. 


     Sometimes, you do need to do that...the faking part.  When you are teaching, when you are operating certain business transactions, when you are tired and weary from a busy family life, but still need to offer wisdom, or encouragement or confidence to a child who needs you to be strong when they are uncertain and confused.

     But sometimes...

      Sometimes it's o.k. to be transparent. To show weakness. To be honest and real and authentic. With friends, family and confidants who know you well. They support you, encourage you-- cheer you on. But even with those closest to us, we sometimes feel the need to hold back, fake strong, tell them we're o.k., even when we're not feeling super o.k. We find the need, if ever so slightly to, fake it till we make it because society teaches us to be strong.

     What I love about my Christian walk, my faith, my personal relationship with Jesus, is that it requires exactly the opposite of us. In our weakness we are made strong through Him. While we may feel like it is only sometimes o.k. to be weak with people in our physical lives, it is always o.k. to be weak, to be real, to melt, to sit and just be, at Jesus feet. Anytime. Anywhere. With anything...big or small.

      I like that place. The real, authentic, messy place at Jesus feet. I am so stinkin' thankful for that place. For you and for me. I'm thankful for it because as much as I wish to write words that would meet women where they need it the most, words that would encourage hearts, the truth is that there is nothing I can do to heal you...to help you...to change you...the only thing I can really do that matters is point you in the direction of  the only thing that matters.

       Jesus. His feet. The place where he takes all of the messiness and brokenness and makes it whole again. Even when I don't realize I'm broken...I just think I'm tired. Really tired. And then I sit, and in my sitting I realize just how much I needed to be there and just how much needed to be fixed and filled again.

      I suppose we're always broken. We always will be in this lifetime.

     The place, at His feet, it reminds me that I am required to do no more. Not one more task, not one more responsibility, not one more wipe of a dust rag, or rinse of a dish...as a matter of fact Jesus beckons that we put it all down...and just sit.

     Say what?!

      Sit?!

      Me? A busy mom?

      Yes. You. Sit.

 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
    “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

      So tonight, in a quiet house, I sit.  I had plans to drive to the gym, to file papers, to tidy my desk, make beds, fold laundry, organize preschool papers and work on a freelance project. I finally sat down, with my computer and a sigh and thought..."I need to just be near Jesus for a minute." I am choosing what is better.

     I opened my computer and listened to this song...a song that beckons me to do nothing but be who I am, sit at His feet, breathe, and fill my spiritual cup.





       I pray that you would read this and feel like you too can just sit for a while. Let go and breathe for a few minutes. Go ahead, it's o.k....really...nothing more is required of you today. Choose what is better. I give you permission to not have all the answers, to not have any answers. I give you permission to be confident in nothing, yet have everything you need.